As the month is nearing its end, our hearts are filled with sadness and a feeling of remorse over what we could have done and what we should not have done.
Subhanallah I had a unique experience today in Fajr salaah. The imam recited the ayahs of ramadan from surah baqarah. These ayahs are usually recited and quoted at the beginning of the month to motivate us to do good deeds. But today… these ayahs had a completely different understanding. Never thought these ayahs would hit so hard at the end of the month.
The experience can not be put into words. But i will try to write what i can.
When the imam started with
يا أيها الذين آمنوا كتب عليكم الصيام كما كتب على الذين من قبلكم لعلكم تتقون.
…..A deep remorse built up in my heart realizing that this excellent oppurtunity has almost ended.
When he said.. اياما معدودات
..it really ignited the regret to a higher level realising that it was indeed a matter of few days. How I wish I could have done more. Or at least done what I had planned.
Then when he read…
فمن تطوع خيراً فهو خيرٌ له
.. it hit hard that whatever good I would have done as an extra deed.. would have been better for me. Allah wanted me to go the extra mile. To reward me.
Then when he recited
شهر رمضان الذي أنزل فيه القرآن.
It seemed as if a dear one had come to visit for a few days with all its blessings and ajr. But these golden moments with this guest will soon be over. Where shall I find these blessings. How shall I find the peace and tranquillity experienced in this month by worshiping Allah. I would miss the fast, the taraweeh, qiyam, listening to the quran,and many deeds that brought happiness in our lives.
And then came the last Ayah…
و اذا سألك عبادي عني فإني قريب….
“And when my slaves ask you about me, tell them that I am near. I answer to the call of a caller whenever he calls me…..”
This made me wonder… that how perfectly Allah has placed these ayahs after the description of Ramadan. The realisation was that … even if Ramadan ends, Allah is there to listen to my duas, listen to my Istighfar, Listen to my needs …even after this month is gone. It does not matter if its is Ramadan or Shawwal. It felt as if Allah is assuring me….that there is nothing to worry! The month is departing but I am just here close to you any moment you call upon me.. Just call upon me and I will surely answer.
After listening to this ayah…. I felt a great sense of peace in my heart . Knowing Allah is very near to us.
May Allah accept all our deeds in this month and may he forgive our shortcomings. Ameen.